Suicidal War

How do I feel?
How or should be what?
The feeling I feel should erupt
So overwhelming it's surreal
 
Pain and misery
It's a rush no creep
Pulling me down slowly
Into the water so deep
 
It's gloomy, dark
So much depth around me 
But I feel closed in a box
Not ordinary texture, but one made of bark
 
I scratch at it 
Begging to be free
But my nails wear down
No one there to help me
 
So I drown in my lonesome 
The little spec in the distance
Is the happiness burning off a shining sun
Tried to reach, but sadness overwhelms persistence
 
So down
Down, down
I fall
No return
 
As I sink lower
The cold clings to my skin
But inside my heart burns 
Because the war will never end
 
Agonizing war I say
Like Persia and Rome in present day
Strike my heart with 2 ft. Swords 
I question myself, can I take much more?
 
It hurts 
Hurts so bad
Relief from the wounded flesh
Happiness brings anew so I may feel refreshed
 
But what happens when joy has lost
Depression is that state, I know
I feel as if I've sunken too low
Somewhere no human being could go  
 
Wounds to the heart never heal
A river flows many ways from where the blood spills
Chest gets cold, brain release the feeling you cant hide
Because you've truly died inside
 
Mind and body
Coincide as one 
So when the mind dies 
The body has soon begun
 
Muscles tense and grow weak
Fact remains your young, but feel so elderly 
Knees buckle, back cripples
You try to continue, but your strength is so little
 
You fall and can't get up
Agonizing but quiet pain creeps up 
Torn like the paper you tear
Your last breath is but another riffle in the air
 
But still I am here
Wounded and torn 
Pain, misery, inside cries
Mind and body at times, may seem to die
 
My face has become worn 
From the many emotions it hides
The flame in my soul continues to burn
With it depression can wound, but the war I survive
 
By: Tyrone Alcorn, Jr.  
      Definition Of Nice